If you feel just like a tourist...

Reinvention is merely the most appropriate term for how I feel right now. Since, I had no real understanding of who I am before, so who knows, this could truly be me? What does it truly mean to reinvent oneself, when it's generally changing one's image? To me, what someone wears can simply b a decoy to what they really are. I know that I normally just wear anything which I'm comfortable in, barely following fashion, probably because I hate drawing attention to myself. But here I was, in a completely different climate faced with the fact that I need warm clothes, otherwise it is quite possible that my ears will freeze off. I was just so no prepared for this cold, it just passes right through to your core and it's not even the beginning! So, I go to primart (a version of target) and am just bewildered by all this choice and me being as indecisive as I am, I was completely lost. Luckily Hazel was there to dress me and I've never bought so many clothes in my life. Even bought the most impractical pair of shoes, knee high heeled boots, also courtesy to Hazel. Let's see if I'll actually ever wear them, oh and apparently I've been wearing clothes a size to big for me. I love how girly she is. We've figured out our relationship actually. We end up at the same destination eventually, but have the complete opposite paths. I guess, that's how we work though.. and opposites do really attract. To be honest, I can't really agree with the saying 'opposites always attract', I really don't think I can end up with someone completely different to me. If I can barely understand what goes on in my head, how can I expect my opposite too? Out of today though, I have fallen in love with knitwear and have a second favourite colour, this maroony-red wine colour. That's one thing I actually love about my mind, whenever I see a word, it triggers a song in my head. I now have the song red, red wine on repeat, not that I really know any other words. This reinvention thing today and this whole experience, thinking about it now, is really me finding myself. What I do and do not like. Who knows who I'll be at the end of this and that's the most exciting part! Fingers crossed, people back home will still feel the same about me.

The realisation of the fact that I'm not going to be returning to my life back in Perth for a good while, hasn't really set in. Not even when I was flying over the city, looking at everything that is so familiar to me disappear into the distance. But then again, there have been short moments where I have started to freak out. Staring at the airline's virtual map, as we were descending into England, blatantly showing me that I'm literally half way across the world from the ones I care about, from what I know. My concepts of space and time have been totally blown out the window. Here I am, in Ormskirk, freezing my tired arse off, when my other world is dreaming. I'm just waiting for it to slap me in the face and who knows how I'll react. The juxtapositioning of this landscape is absolutely beautiful from above, my eyes actually widened, as if to absorb more. Yet it was so strange thinking the effect we have had on this world, I couldn't help but think what earth would be without the human race. Walking through those arrival gates and seeing Hazel, was one of the greatest moments, no matter how flustered and tired I was. Everyone should be entitled to an epic reunitement, atleast once in their life. Although, leaving Perth was not an issue at all, rather who was there. Especially since, in my eyes, the people by far make the places and the experiences. Out of all the heartbreak involved, atleast I'm becoming sure of things that were once so unknown to me and hey, I'm actually trying to achieve something I believe in. But what I am sure of, is that tonight is going to be a lonely night! I love you!